As we all know, another Steam sale is upon us and we’ll be spending a bit of time every day checking out the sale for the great discounts. But if you’re anything like me, then you’re probably buying games that you won’t have time to play.

I mean, right now I’ve got Shadows of Mordor, Vampire: Bloodlines, the Civ V expansion and more just waiting to be played. But then there’s that thing called life that’s eating up my time. Anyway, here’s a song about the Steam sale, sung to the tune of Avril Lavigne’s Things I’ll Never Say.

 

These Games I’ll Never Play

La la la la la la la

I’m browsing the Steam sale.
I should be going to sleep.
I’m trying to keep my cool,
But they’re all so cheap!
I’m staring at these games.
They’re only four bucks ninety-nine.
But I know deep down inside I don’t have time.

Pre-chorus
(Cause) I feel like spending.
Yet I feel conflicted.
But I know you’re worth it,
You’re worth it
Yeah!

Chorus
If I had more hours in every day,
I’d just sit at my desk… And play.
Marathon through the night,
Until I see the morning light.

If I could only be so carefree,
I’d only ever stop… To pee.
So many mobs to slay.
Guess I’m just spending my cash away,
On these games I’ll never play.

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It won’t do me any good.
I just won’t have the time.
What use are games to me,
That I can’t play?
But time is running out.
And I just got my salary.
So I will continue to build my library.

Pre-chorus

Chorus

What’s wrong with spending?
These games will raise my spirits.
I’ll download, I’ll install
And play for fifteen minutes!

Pre-chorus

Guess I’m spending my cash away on these games I’ll never play.

 


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Drew

Drew

Drew used to be a professional videogame reviewer, then he took an adulthood arrow to the knee. Now he is a content strategist, helping brands tell their stories without resorting to overused videogame memes.