Geek Review – SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake

When it comes to impacting a generation, SpongeBob Squarepants and the rest of the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom hold plenty of importance. Through his goofball nature and zany adventures, there has always been something to learn from the nautical sponge in the last two decades. Unfortunately, that success has not translated well to the video game side of things, with THQ Nordic and Purple Lamp’s platformer SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake more similar to a sinker than a prize catch.

Even with the lessons from SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom – Rehydrated, a 2020 remake of the 2003 original, it seems like SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake is keener on fulfilling an outdated checklist rather than truly elevating the genre with its own twist on things. This is an experience that is as bland as they come, even if SpongeBob and all the interesting supporting cast try their best to turn things around.

The setup is simple and straightforward, with Bikini Bottom in danger of being torn apart due to some questionable decisions made by our hero. In order to make things right again, SpongeBob teams up with the inflatable Patrick to jump through portals and assemble their friends to save the day. 

While there was certainly room to explore an original SpongeBob tale, the premise is merely a foundation on which players can experience classic episodes of the show. It is a nice trip down memory lane for sure, but for newcomers, the notion can easily fly over their heads. Thankfully, there are still other nice touches here and there to breathe life into this underwater adventure.

The various portals lead into realms that have been somewhat altered from the original Bikini Bottom, resulting in vibrant and colourful creations that are always fun to look at. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake also gives fans a chance to indulge in nostalgia, thanks to the original voice actors providing their talents to characters like SpongeBob, Patrick, Pearl, The Flying Dutchman, and Mr Krabs.

Sadly, it is the gameplay front that truly causes SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake to plummet into the murky depths. Compared to the recent remaster, it seems nothing has changed for the better, with aged mechanics still being held up as the way to go. There is no room for new and interesting ideas on display here, with a constant grind of jumping puzzles and boring combat against a limited variety of foes. 

Even the new tools of navigation, like a pizza box glider or combat moves, are not exactly a key part of progression; just doing the same simple basics will get you through SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake. 

If you managed to get through the first few hours, then you already know what to expect for the rest of the experience, which is not a good sign. This downer of a formula applies to all the realms that our heroes will visit, and even when there are some cute surprises like a stealth section, they only last for a short while before being locked away, never to be seen again. The same goes for the boss battles, which are nice departures from the usual humdrum, but are never quite impactful enough to flip the experience in the right direction. 

Outside of all of that, players will be engaging in the usual collectathons that seem to be a staple of the genre, but never an engaging activity in this case. The presence of side quests could have been used to embrace the ridiculousness of the setting and the characters truly, but again, it all falls short. 

The argument that SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake is made for kids does have some valid points, but then again, with access to other contemporaries like Kirby and the Forgotten Land and the Mario series, it doesn’t hold water anymore. Other than having the recognisable mugs of SpongeBob and gang, there is not really a redeeming factor for the state of this game.

The barebones nature of SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake is ultimately disappointing, especially when there is so much potential with the license. While it delivers the charm and characters from the beloved television series, the lack of creativity makes it a barely enjoyable video game experience. Even for the most ardent of fans, this is one game that should remain in a pineapple under the sea.

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake is available on the PSN Store for $55.42.